demons

Screaming on the inside,
Standing tall on the outside,
Could No-one see these demon's deception,
But now its too late and all will seek redemption.


Now they scratch and claw the walls,
Through the cracks they seem to crawl,
Their hatred seem to never yield,
My persona has become my shield.


You, me, her we are all the same,
Same insecurities just with a different name,
Pain, hurt, and what we all feel,
These very principles separate whats real.

[Jon]

Nice one

really nice man

i see a poet!

As an English major I'd like to see things stated less obviously, more use of metaphor and the such... additionally, rhymed couplets are sooooo 17th century. :P

But despite all that, it shows a degree of promise... Post some more, please

only a degree of promise ?

Didn't say it was a small degree. I didn't say it was large, either. I would like to see more of your work. Judging a person's poetic skill off a single piece is ridiculous. Can you make an accurate judgment of Poe based solely on The Raven, ignoring Fall of the House of Usher? Can you judge Shakespeare with just, say... Sonnet 31, without the other 150+, and discarding his numerous plays?

No.

This individual poem shows that there may be some promise here, but I would like to see more to make a better decision. Then again, this is my personal opinion - There were plenty of people who hated Shakespeare, and look how wrong they were about the longevity of his works.

All that being said, please don't take anything I have said as derogatory. I just want to see more because I don't like judging ability on such a limited sample size.

well write only well i don't sleep because that's when the insanity kicks in and im dyslexic so i depend on grammar and spell check more then i do for air