Funny smoker
Old 08-28-2012, 06:02 PM   #1
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Default Funny smoker

With each non-filter cigarette I
smoke, I hope that that very one
is the one that finally pushes me
off the cancer cliff, over the
emphysema edge. It only costs a
little more than $200 each
month (at eight bucks a pack;
ten for Camels - crazy, huh?), so
I figure I'm getting a pretty
good long-term return on my
investment. My cats and dogs
love that rich, satisfying
Carolina goodness, too; they
love it when I smoke, and they
get all excited when I light up
with my coffee in the morning.
Big Tobacco charges more for
their products because they
have to give over a lot of our
money to the government, to
pay for things like smoking-
related healthcare, so mayn't we
take advantage of it?
Interestingly enough, tobacco is
the only FDA-approved product
on the market which, when taken
as prescribed, is practically
guaranteed to eventually cause
your death, but not before lots
of expensive healthcare. That
sounds like a potential conflict
of interest, yet another
incestuous corporate-
government relationship, but I
smoke 'em anyway all the time,
like they were the key to
immortality itself. (One might
make a similar argument for
alcohol, but I don't drink since
losing a kidney, and that's a
different article.) Yep, I think I'll
have one right now. Smoking is
also an awesome affectation. In
fact, the younger you are, the
cooler it makes you. And later,
you can enjoy smoking after
masturbation, and eventually
after sex too. But if you're going
to devote your life to smoking,
you shouldn't have kids while
you do. Smoking is something
that kids should do because it's
cool and it makes them cool,
especially when they need to
rebel against something, and
not just because their parents
did it around them all their lives.
You can always get pets if you
want to lord your addiction over
your minions, like myself. ...Now,
some of these statements are
truth, while others are utterly
false fabrications. Pick the ones
you disagree with or don't like
and call those false..and we'll all
be friends.

Wanted to share a post from a random yahoo commenter.
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Old 08-28-2012, 06:10 PM   #2
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Woot smoking makes me look cool
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Old 08-28-2012, 11:26 PM   #3
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quitting is for quitters or whatever
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