Humorous skill suggestions

Aural Fetish
You have a chance of striking your opponent deaf with the remarkable act of removing there ears. This leaves them stunned for 2 secs after every hit from then on. However, every time this happens you are squelched for one minute

[Sapreaver]

Originally Posted by Tarminyatar

Aural Fetish
You have a chance of striking your opponent deaf with the remarkable act of removing there ears. This leaves them stunned for 2 secs after every hit from then on. However, every time this happens you are squelched for one minute

Epic

Castration

Any time you win a duel against a male opponent who has taken levels in Taking Advantage and/or Pedomaniac, there is chance that you will castrate him, removing his balls, reducing his Taking Advantage skill to 0 and permanently making it impossible for him to regain the skill points. Further, you confiscate all his gold, equipment, items, and gems, leaving him exposed in his agony for the world to see. The chance of castration occurring is [(your Castration skill level)/100]*[(his Taking Advantage skill level + his Pedomaniac skill level)/100]. Any opponent who has ever been castrated gets only half the benefits of Pedomaniac, but is immune from further castrations.

At skill level 20, you gain access to the *** Offender Registry, making it possible for you to identify on sight anyone who has used the Taking Advantage skill at least (100 divided by your Castration level) many times, or who has used Pedomaniac (100,000 divided by your Castration level) many times. Any player you identify as a *** offender you may force to duel you without their consent, and it does not count as a PK.

At skill level 60, you can identify any player who has at least 1 level of Taking Advantage and/or Pedomaniac and force them to duel you, whether they have ever successfully used either of these skills or not.

Any level taken in Pwn also counts as a level of Castration, though you can at most double your Castration skill in this way. (You can potentially reach an effective level of 200 in this skill, at which point you are guaranteed to castrate any male you defeat in battle who has taken at least 50 levels total in Pedomaniac and Taking Advantage.)

Sadism

Whenever you duel/PK/PKK a male opponent, your Castration skill treats his Pedomaniac and Taking Advantage skill levels as if they were either that level or one quarter of your Sadism skill level, whichever is higher. This means that if you level Sadism, Castration, and Pwn to 100, you are guaranteed to castrate every defeated male opponent, guilty of *** crimes or not. If your opponent has taken no levels in Pedomaniac or Taking Advantage and you castrate him anyway, then you count as a PK, no matter who initiated and/or consented to the duel/PK/PKK.

Parry Your Parry!

Any avoidance skill can be canceled out by the same avoidance skill, at the same rate, but with effectiveness reduced to 1% per skill level of Parry Your Parry!, so you can block someone's block, parry someone's parry, etc. The number of times this can be iterated is equal to your Demonic Iteration level divided by 10, with 10 levels needed to parry the parry.

At skill level 20, you may mix-and-match avoidance skills, but at 5% of the usual rate given by Parry Your Parry!, so that at level 40, you can "block the parry" at .05*.4=.002 times the rate that you can normally block, in which case the the parry is canceled and you do the damage as usual (unless they block your block)

At skill level 40, whenever avoidance skills are matched, there's a 50% chance that you will get an "un" added as a prefix. This has no effect, except that occasionally you'll get the message "you unparried the parry!" instead of "you parried the parry!". If the action you are countering with the same avoidance skill already has an "un" and you don't ad another "un," remove all "un"s. That is, if you parry an unparry, this either shows up as "you parried the unparry!" or "you un-unparried the unparry!" Even if the "un"s get truncated, you still need the requisite Demonic Iteration levels.

At skill level 60, you can use Parry Your Parry! on battle skills that aren't avoidance skills, such as "un-hemorrhage the hemorrhage!" and so on. If you "hemorrhage the hemorrhage", you do your hemorrhage damage instead of canceling the hemorrhage. When computing success rates, treat any matched battle skills the same way as you would treat matched avoidance skills. When mismatching, you are half as likely to counter with a non-avoidance battle skill as if it were an avoidance skill (because you can't unhemorrhage the burning soul, obviously). Also, any time you Pwn the Taking Advantage in this way, it cancels the Taking Advantage and counters it with Castrate.

At skill level 80, anything can counter anything else, even if they aren't battle skills. Each non-battle skill has only a .001% chance per skill level in Parry Your Parry!, but this adds up quickly, considering that you can, for example, "brew the combat recovery," causing both players to win a free beer instead of your opponent gaining HP, Energy, and Mana during that tick.

[Sapreaver]

Originally Posted by Mothpire

Parry Your Parry!

Any avoidance skill can be canceled out by the same avoidance skill, at the same rate, but with effectiveness reduced to 1% per skill level of Parry Your Parry!, so you can block someone's block, parry someone's parry, etc. The number of times this can be iterated is equal to your Demonic Iteration level divided by 10, with 10 levels needed to parry the parry.

At skill level 20, you may mix-and-match avoidance skills, but at 5% of the usual rate given by Parry Your Parry!, so that at level 40, you can "block the parry" at .05*.4=.002 times the rate that you can normally block, in which case the the parry is canceled and you do the damage as usual (unless they block your block)

At skill level 40, whenever avoidance skills are matched, there's a 50% chance that you will get an "un" added as a prefix. This has no effect, except that occasionally you'll get the message "you unparried the parry!" instead of "you parried the parry!". If the action you are countering with the same avoidance skill already has an "un" and you don't ad another "un," remove all "un"s. That is, if you parry an unparry, this either shows up as "you parried the unparry!" or "you un-unparried the unparry!" Even if the "un"s get truncated, you still need the requisite Demonic Iteration levels.

At skill level 60, you can use Parry Your Parry! on battle skills that aren't avoidance skills, such as "un-hemorrhage the hemorrhage!" and so on. If you "hemorrhage the hemorrhage", you do your hemorrhage damage instead of canceling the hemorrhage. When computing success rates, treat any matched battle skills the same way as you would treat matched avoidance skills. When mismatching, you are half as likely to counter with a non-avoidance battle skill as if it were an avoidance skill (because you can't unhemorrhage the burning soul, obviously). Also, any time you Pwn the Taking Advantage in this way, it cancels the Taking Advantage and counters it with Castrate.

At skill level 80, anything can counter anything else, even if they aren't battle skills. Each non-battle skill has only a .001% chance per skill level in Parry Your Parry!, but this adds up quickly, considering that you can, for example, "brew the combat recovery," causing both players to win a free beer instead of your opponent gaining HP, Energy, and Mana during that tick.

lol

Getting Something Done – At solid hours, there is a 1% chance per skill level to be logged out and not to be allowed to relog for 1 hour.

"Solid hours" meaning 1:00, 2:00, 3:00, etc?

Someone should implement this.

[Whiskeywarrior]

Originally Posted by Nosebatter

Getting Something Done – At solid hours, there is a 1% chance per skill level to be logged out and not to be allowed to relog for 1 hour.

I like this one, but call it something like 'Getting a Life'

Ignorance Is Bliss

For each player who puts you on their ignore list, your gains from shard bliss increase by .01% per skill level.

Originally Posted by mothpire

priests get a 100% bonus to pedophilia.

hahahaha

[USAViper2127]

Originally Posted by relic

power of the glitchless - every point in this skill gives you a 1% chance of acting like a communist russian tyrant/dictator, enabling you to ignore what the paying people want, be ignorant and have blatant disregard for other peoples opinions.

:d

rotflmfao!!!

[USAViper2127]

Crafters heaven-The higher you get this skill the more epic recipes drop and the less regular epics drop. This will make it so crafters own the games gold and can do as they wish with the prices of epics so the cost of tc's go up so people can sell tc's to get enough gold to buy an epic.

ZOMG PEEKAY!11 - Every point in this skill provides a +1% chance of becoming invisible and invincible while there are active Peekays online.

Originally Posted by USAViper2127

Crafters heaven-The higher you get this skill the more epic recipes drop and the less regular epics drop. This will make it so crafters own the games gold and can do as they wish with the prices of epics so the cost of tc's go up so people can sell tc's to get enough gold to buy an epic.

I like this one 4 real!

It's How You Use It

You have the self-confidence not to take the insult to heart when other people snicker at the size of your "gem pouch," because you know something that they don't: It's not the size of the "gem pouch" that matters - It's How You Use It. For each level you take in It's How You Use It, you have the option of making your "gem pouch" smaller, causing it to hold one gem fewer than it did before, lowering the overall randomness of your draws and reducing the need to buy redundant gems. At any time, you may switch to a larger "gem pouch", if you feel the need to look like the other people your age. You may not use this skill to reduce the capacity of your "gem pouch" below two gems unless you have taken 20 levels in Cancer.

Run, Forrest, Run!

When you wish to avoid combat, you do what an ordinary human being does: You run. None of this fumbling around in your pouch looking for some oddball "escape potion". You just GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. Whenever you have auto-run activated, you have a 25% + .5%/skill level chance of GETTING THE HELL OUT OF THERE every (10 - .05/skill level) seconds.

Auto-auto-attack

At the start of each battle, there is a 1% chance per skill level of auto-attack being turned on. You know, AUTOMATICALLY. Because it's AUTO-ATTACK.

Similarly with the auto-auto-shoot skill. If both trigger simultaneously, the odds of attacking vs shooting is the same as the ratio between the skill levels. Further, if the levels are exactly the same and both trigger, then the question is settled via a game of paper-rock-scissors with your guardian angel: you win, auto-shoot, you lose, auto-attack. You tie? BOTH! WIN! AWESOME! HAX!!!

Pwn Fu

A dedicated student of the art of Pwn, virtue is your true power, and you scoff at the use of conventional weaponry. When unarmed, damage you deal with the skill Pwn is increased by 1% per level of Pwn Fu.

[gailenstryker]

Cock Fighting

every level in this skill adds a .4% chance of striking your enemys' pet. if the pet dies, it explodes doing total damage inflict to yourself and half damage to your enemy, and if using dual pets, to the other pet as well.

Edit: if your own damage inflicted kills your own pets, they inturn explode at double your own damage on your opponent and normal damage to yourself.

Pets are then detroyed from your char and you are banned from re-euipping pets for 24 hours in game time.

If you have a puppy it is then changed to Michael Vick.