The Stagered Dragon

[ketotsue]

Blinks once then twice. And suddenly breaks into tears. " My bar my beautiful bar... in flames" Striveing to save his bar he grabs the first barrel he sees and throws the contents onto the fire bad move. Mostly because its a flippin bar of course the first barrel he sees is going to be rum. The liquids burst into flames travel back into the barrel and explode leaveing a drunken and ashy man standing dumb founded.

[Vuxxa]

Vuxxa gets up, "Um magic. MAGIC" he holds out his hand "Ok, some water damn it." he thrusts his hand.....nothing happens. "What!!!"."Wait what am i thinking there is no moisture in this damn air to to that magic! Were all going to die!!!"

[Necronas]

The whole bar is yelling and screaming, especially Vuxxa, whose screams sound more like a little girl than a dark overlord, with Necronas going in a flaming-beer-induced blood rage.

Suddenly a portal opens, Tom Cruise jumps through with a witch's rags and a huge wart on his nose, and also carries a bucket of water. He then proceeds to dump the bucket of water on Vuxxa's head, leaving the bucket there, and then is pushed to the side by a half-naked guy in a purple towel being chased by a bunch of guys with white towels, who are being chased by a horse which is being chased by Tom Cruise. Necronas then proceeds to throw flaming beer on all of them, before the portal sucks the entire tavern into an alternate dimension.

(What? Why are you looking at me like that?)

[Vuxxa]

Suddenly Vuxxa sees Tom Cruise jump out of a portal who then pours water on him. "AHhhhh, that's better." then a strange scene plays out before his eyes "WTF!" and changes, skin darkening, horns bursting from his head, and six balck wings burst form his back. "Now you shall see power" he grabs a beer and chugs it, then his mouth opens and 5 spirits fly out and turn inot undead Specral soldiers, then his arms stretch and grasp the portal attempting to close it. Meanwhile the spectres slash at Tom Cruise's soul, only to find he sold it to satan for magic powers. Vuxxa's head begins to spin exercist style spewing out acid from his mouth.

[ketotsue]

Watching the entire bar fall into chaos and towel fights he ponders to himself ^ ohh what have I done and what the **** is Tom cruise doing chaseing a horse^. Then he see's Vuxxa sprout black wings from his back and clutch at the alternate dimension portal. ^ Meh what the hell^ He then grabed the largest mug he could find and leapt at vuxxa smashing the mug on his head, he then chucked the nearest object at Necronas. It just so happened the object was nothing more than a pillow. ^ Well that was pointless^. He then slowly pointed at the group and mumbled a random phrase of spanish before leaping through the portal.

[Vuxxa]

well, this thread sure is dead

[ketotsue]

yeah i think the whole tom cruise alternate dimension thing kind of took it to a place without many more options

[ketotsue]

Sits down at the newly reopened bar in what appears to be a strange new dimension. " well might as well try finding the answer at the bottome of one of these bottles" he then reaches over the bar and grabs a bottle of rum now contint with himself he sits alone in a corner of the bar. ^wonder what happened to Tom Cruise^

[Duvopaz]

* wtf at Vuxxa Copy'ing my avatar*

[Vuxxa]

Hey, i made that my avatar before i even seem yours

While wandering through "Random Un-named town X", Xenyth sees a burning building, complete with fleeing patrons, and the one drunk guy with his arm on fire.

"Huh. Must be an RP tavern." She says to herself.

And continues walking.

[Vuxxa]

Vuxxa stumbles out of the tavern, "Finally I escaped that weird dimension." he looks around, sees a woman walking away, "Hey you!" and points at her "Don't think your can escape the tavern of doom!"

"... ... ... Crap."

It's one of those unspoken laws of role-play. When someone registers the existance of your character, they are inveitably drawn into the storyline. In the case of the doomed "Stagered Dragon Inn" however, the effect becomes quite literal.

Xenyth felt her feet slipping in the dirt, as she was physically drawn backward into the gaping maw of the horrendous tavern.

"Arghhhh!" She screamed. "I am forever doomed to walk the steps of the illiterate! Why, world, WHY?!"

And with an organic sort of "FWOOP" noise, she was sucked inside.

[Vuxxa]

"Ahahahahahaha! Now you are DOOOOOMED!" says Vuxxa with a crazed look.

Naturally however, due to the nature of causality, the reciprocal effect and the laws of sheer bastardry, there is never any escape from an RP tavern of doom.

The tavern itself was now mysteriously sentient and a little bit cranky at being set on fire, abused, ripped through dimensions and dumped in some town that was so lame in it's own or any other world to even have a name.

Vuxxa would not escape this day. The roof of the porch snapped woodenly, beams of timber bending and folding into the relative shape of a gnarled claw. And it reached down to snap the wayward roleplayer up, intent on thrusting her back into the fray.

[ketotsue]

" Ahh another victim of my own creation"... "You know im kind of starting to regret opening this bar in the first place". Of course by this time the man was already rather drunken...again. And was now talking to an odd little speck of dust on the wall that he had mistaken to be someone of real importance.

He had since realized the flaw of his conversation noteing that he was in fact talking to the walls. So he wondered through the bar all the while thinking to himself I wonder what would happen if I set the bar on fire again... i'll just call that plan B.

Looking towards the entrance of the bar he saw Vuxxa along with a new stragler being thrusted into the now liveing pub. " Im beginging to think we may just be here for a while "

"What the hell," Said Xenyth, as she landed on the floor of the tavern with a "Ploomp" noise. "When in Rome... HAMPSTERBALL FIGHT!"

Oddly enough, even in a fantasy setting, even in a tavern which has for all intents and purposes been given every opportunity to implode under the weight of its own improbability... If you mention the words 'Hampsterball fight', there always seems to be a ready supply of homicidal hampsters, rolling through the crevasses, and out from under the tables, ready to do the bidding of those who would throw them.

For her part, Xenyth picked up a rather large ball, containing one very angry looking black hampster and covered in rubber spikes. And threw it directly at some fellow who was talking to a wall.

[Vuxxa]

Vuxxa ran to the other side of the bar, throwing two hampster balls at Xenyth "Ah, the obsurdity of it all. I like it!"

[Necronas]

Necronas was busy burning tables, walls, and people one after the other, chucking improvised molotovs and all sorts of other explosive concoctions in every direction. He would show his mastery over the inn, over the very concept of spacetime itself. In fact, he was so engrossed in his maniacal laughter that he would have missed the two hampsterballs thrown at him, if not for one thing.

You see, the world has a way of predicting the future. As such, the matrix music began before Necronas did the super-cool slow-mo dodge. The music in his ears prompted him, out of instinct, to instantaneously put on a pair of shades and bend his back into a death-defying arc.

The twin hampsterballs landed right into the wall and bounced off, and just as they were propelled back away from his grasp, Necronas grabbed the twin orbs in each hand, set them alight with the flames of hatred, and flung them with demonic strength and speed, one at the aggressor for her insolence, and the other at Vuxxa because he felt like it.

Fortunately for her sense of scene, Xenyth was in no risk, as it was not the rampant pyromaniac she had thrown her Hampsterball at.

Fate, however, has a twisted sense of irony, and one of the flaming balls hit her square in the chin anyway, staggering her and causing her face to turn soot black.

Staying true to the scene, she held up a small wooden sign. Printed in bright gold lettering with red trim, the word: "OUCH!"